I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
