Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
