I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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