R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize