It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
