I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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