the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
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I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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