he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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