It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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