whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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