I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.