we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?