I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard