You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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