just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
