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I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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