My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
