Soap is not a condiment
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
