Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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