im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
