When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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