She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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