they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They took my balls.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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