We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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