yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i dont even know how to be here
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
whose parrot is this?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
