Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
