i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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