My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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