Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
