Whod you bang
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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