I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
