My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
