I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
one might say we're banned from that church
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
