I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
