cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
