So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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