Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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