It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize