If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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