can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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