Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
