Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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