i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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