Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
