I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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