I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
