So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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