I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
