so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
