I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
