question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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