Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
