And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
