i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
