the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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