Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
