# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
