I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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