Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
her vagine was all disorganized.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
